HILLS IN “THRILLER”
The death of Michael Jackson had a profound effect on the Superules game at Marion on Sunday.
Facing a full PHOS Camden squad, determined to break their “duck” against the Hills, a number of Supertigers were unable to face the prospect of playing football in the wake of the tragic news. Reclusive Ron Berry was spied in Echunga gardening in his white gloves and matching face mask while Matt “Peter Pan” Ormsby was sleeping in his hyperbaric chamber trying to slow down the ageing process.
Chris Hill once again showed his loyalty in the face of mass absenteeism, remaining true to his Superules motto for every game, “I’ll Be There”. Only 15 Hills’ players fronted but all were determined to do it for “Jacko”.
Unfortunately, Aleks Bojanic thought they meant the other “Jacko”. This resulted in him removing his false teeth and then performing a rather alarming hand stand just to prove that his rear end would not always point to the ground.
The game finally got started and the Hills’ team won the toss and kicked with a five goal breeze. Dominating field play, the Supertigers were dogged by inaccuracy. Even super goal kicker Kim Pearce missed a set shot from 20 metres out. “I’m bad, I’m bad; you know it”, was all he could say.
It was as though Michael Jackson had permeated all aspects of the game. As if in tribute to the 1972 number hit about a rat, “Ben” Bartlett debuted off the rookie list and proved conclusively that in the search for new talent, “The two of us need look no more”.
Wayne Seymour put his own slant on the musical legend and stage performer with a spectacular array of on field moves. Jackson might have been described as the “King of Pop” but watching him stop, drop and change direction, Wayne Seymour was the “King of Prop”.
Another with the fancy footwork tribute was Dave “Moonwalk” McGill who continually strutted his best steps. He mesmerized the slow moving opposition who at times resembled “Zombies” from the “Thriller” video clip.
The PHOS boys got a little agitated as their frustration at not being able to convert opportunities with the wind began to surface. The full back turned to his burly opponent, Gary Magee, and said “Didn’t Michael Jackson write that charity song about you, ‘We Ate The world’?”
Neil Thomson, who had too much time to think at Full Back, almost brought the team undone at half time. Leading by five goals to one, the team just needed something to maintain its momentum. Thomson stepped up with a Michael Jackson “plastic joke” which generated the appropriate response from the expectant huddle. Unfortunately he then proceeded to outline a series of football plays for on field success. It’s “As easy as ABC” Thommo assured the team but the damage had been done. Burdened by having to play and think, the Hills’ team was outscored for the first time in the match.Poor Alex Tucker was so confused he couldn’t work out whether he was meant to be “Back or Wide”. Fortunately Thomson was gagged at three quarter time, and normality was restored, with the Supertigers holding on to remain the only team PHOS Camden have never beaten.
The game was not without its musical sound effects thanks to Dave “Runt” Wuttke.
Desperate to mark a low ball near the boundary line Dave propelled himself parallel to the turf. He managed to get both hands under the ball but the force of the ball crushed his hands into the ground, amplifying the “Thwack” noise. This forced the ball to “Squelch” as it implanted itself into his face, which generated the inevitable “Oohhh”. Insensitive team mates repeated the “Thwack, Squelch, Oohhh” sound effects to the beat of “Billie Jean” every time Dave went for the ball.
Even the umpires got into the Michael Jackson theme.
Confronted by an overly aggressive PHOS player one of the adjudicators simply pointed to the bench and sang out “Beat it”.
Post match memories of Michael Jackson moments were shared with focus on the enduring friendship between Michael Jackson and Bubbles the monkey. At this point both Simon Kemp and Wuttke claimed to be the monkey rather than the organ grinder.
Discussions about Michael Jackson being identified as a pop star at the age of five led to Sean Watt describing how he was positively identified at the age of eight. It was then pointed out that his 15 minutes of fame was courtesy of the police for setting fire to his neighbour’s backyard leaf pile.
Despite the sadness of the occasion the team reveled in their imperious victory which was set up by incredible efforts by Seymour, Kemp, Wuttke, McGill, Tucker and Pearce. It is great to play Superules but it is always better to win.
The win was an important morale booster in this time of loss and sets up a top of the table clash with Gawler at Lobethal next Sunday.
HILLS 8 – 13
PHOS 3 – 8
Best: Seymour, Wuttke, Kemp, McGill, Tucker, Pearce, Thomson
Goals: Watt 4, Pearce 2, Kemp, Hill 1
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