The Ross Wall File - Round 4 vs West

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Ross Wall in complete control

Sunday’s Superules games against traditional powerhouse, West, turned into an ugly slanging match as the Supertigers powered to their 23rd consecutive victory.

Competitive but clearly outgunned, the Western Crows enlisted a range of strategies to unsettle the dominate Hills’ dwellers.

The most intriguing was their attempt to get inside the heads of their opponents, hoping to derail their singular victory focus, with sledging.

It was almost as though their final training before the big game was spent learning the lines they hoped could swing the match their way.

One of Kim Pearce’s opponents stirred the pot by asking,

“How’s your wife and my kids?”

Lightning fast Kim responded with,

“My wife’s fine but the kids are retarded”.

Specky Handpassing?

Gary Magee’s opponent nudged him a few times and said with intent,

“I’ve been waiting two years to humiliate you again”.

Gary looked his stout opponent up and down and observed,

“It looks like you spent them eating”.

At one stage Troy Snooks was observed performing a hand stand in the goal square. When asked why, “Snooksie” replied his opponent had said,

“You will never be a full forward as long as your arse points to the ground”.

Not only did he perform an acrobatic rebuttal but went on to kick a lazy 6 goals.

David Threadgold’s dashing display attracted a round of sledging including,

“Just because your dog gets excited to see you each day doesn’t mean you’re cute”.

Many of David’s passes were just that but his three goals and eight behinds left him open to lines like,

“Why don’t you kick a few more behinds?”

“I can’t, I’m too busy kicking yours”, was the reply.

The West players not only sledged their opponents but also themselves.

When the ball rolled through one of their defender’s legs it was picked up by Dave McGill and snapped accurately for a goal.The defender apologised to his nearby team mates saying, “I should have kept my legs together”, which prompted one of his frustrated colleagues to reply,“I wish your mother had kept hers closed”.

One of the West players was given the nickname conferred upon Chris McDermott by the Victorian commentators when he played for the Crows. When asked why this fellow was called the “Lochness Monster”, his team mate explained that he apparently was quite a legend but unfortunately was rarely sighted.

The “Chrome Dome” syndrome unraveled the Western Crows as Threadgold, Wayne Seymour and Rob McGregor ran amok. Complaining that they were being blinded by the sun reflecting off the heads of the Supertigers, Seymour calmly explained it wasn’t the sun blinding them but the brilliance.

Gavin Reicheldt was exceptional across half back until a calf twinge caused him to exit early from the game. Randal Weekes dominated across half forward but was also seen spending a lot of time with an ice pack after the game.

Michael Toubia was awesome with the way he ran the ball out of defence and David “Runt” Wuttke racked up many possessions.

The “Leg of the Day” trophy was hotly disputed this week. Chris Hill received a nomination for his set shot which failed to make the distance from 20 metres out but the winner was “Runt”.

Gathering the ball at half forward, his aim was to pass to a fellow Tiger about 20 metres away. Lacking momentum, and confronted by an opponent closing fast, he let rip a stabbing pass. Unfortunately contact was not clean and his opponent, now four metres away braced for the smother; an unnatural act in Superules. Tragically the kick only travelled one metre. Expecting pain from the impact of smothering, the West player had stopped in his tracks. Embarrassed by his kick, “Runt” began waving arms like he had handballed it hoping this would be a more acceptable reason for the distance. The ball lay on the turf for seconds like a like an unwanted beer at the end of a heavy buck’s night.

As the game began to slip from their grasp, a few of the West players went to plan B which was to ruffle a few feathers with some slightly unorthodox physicality.

This ploy also failed and gradually the Supertigers got on top of the sledging war as well.

As one of the West players left the ground, banished for a lack of discretion, a Hills’ player asked,

“Can I borrow your brain, I’m building an idiot?”

Aleks Bojanic’s critique of one of his rucking opponents was rather damning.

“He has everything except speed, skill, stamina and coordination. However, he is tall, so as a footballer he makes a terrific contour map reference”.

It was a game high on skill, punctuated by courageous acts from both sides and accentuated by individual brilliance.

Sean Watt had an impact despite not actually taking the field. Carrying a hamstring injury caused by an uncharacteristic action which many of the Hills’ players avoid, training, he added to the sledging.At half time he asked one of the West players what was “Red, bounced and had the initials TWS on it”.When his target seemed nonplussed by the question Sean said,

”It’s the football, why don’t you try to get hold of it?”

Many of the Hills and West players have frequented the national Superules’ carnival for years and thus enjoyed each others’ company post match.

The next match is on May 30th at Lobethal when the all conquering Supertigers take on South at 12.30pm.

HILLS 16 – 13 WEST 6 – 2

Best: Threadgold, Seymour, Reicheldt, Wuttke, Kleemann, Snooks, Tombia
Goals: Snooks 6, Threadgold 3, Ryde, Magee 2, Weekes, Seymour, McGill 1