SUPERTIGERS SEE RED
Following the election of Australia’s first female prime minister, Julia “Big Red” Gillard, the Hills’ over 35s footballers began to look at their own political potential.
Initially all discounted their credentials on the gender likeness but a few were reminded that some of their playing styles did lean towards a softer agenda. None could claim Wales as a country of origin and some were reluctant or unable to locate legal birth certificates.
When it came to discussing successful schooling pedigree and educational qualifications, the silence was deafening.
The assumption of a clean police record may also have been misplaced with questions pending over such luminaries as Aleks Bojanic, who having managed pubs and dealt with bikie gangs, may well have had to dispense the odd body to the “bottom of the ocean”.
Distinguished and widely respected accountant Ron Berry offered no guarantee that some of his companies weren’t at the “bottom of the harbour”.
Perennial gambler, Neil Thomson, denied ever dealing from the “bottom of the deck” and Lobethal president Randal Weekes refuted claims his club was scraping the “bottom of the barrel”.
Chris Hill was indignant about allegations that he regularly dredged the bottom of the esky for that last beer and Gary ”Specky” Magee was aghast that anyone would suggest he couldn’t lift his bottom off the ground.
The ageless Dave McGill was once accused of boosting his longevity with performance enhancers from the bottom drawer of his gym office and outstanding amateur pugilist, Michael Toubia, has been forced to fend off allegations of hitting “below the belt”.
Having discounted a political career for the assembled masses it turned out the only thing they could connect with the new “Ranga” PM over was an association with all things chartreuse.
The Hills’ Superulers travelled to Berri to take on a full strength Riverland Redbacks team celebrating the Berri Football club’s 100th anniversary.
On their “red letter day” the Hills’ boys plunged their win – loss record for the season into the red.
The player best placed to associate with Julia’s natural colour was “Ginger nut”, Andrew Frohling, who unfortunately “saw red” within two minutes of the game commencing. Having spent six weeks canvassing support from his player caucus for a chance to play centre half forward, while he recovered from an achilles injury, Andrew was ready to go. He lasted just one kick of the Red Sherrin, reinjured his leg and hobbled forlornly from the field.
Ever obliging premiership coach Richard Kleemann had his chest waxed on Saturday night as part of a Kersbrook fundraiser. As a result he was “red raw” and every chest mark was like a stab from a “red hot poker”.
Mark Jaensch, who now fancies himself as an onfield comedian, ran along the boundary line bouncing the ball without an opponent in sight. His interactions with the pro Riverland crowd, who lined the boundary, were witty but he failed to have the last laugh. Mark was left “red faced” when his ugly attempt at a kick skewed off the side of his boot and sailed out on the full.
Aleks Bojanic, who is loving the challenge of imposing himself on the game, had a “red hot go” in ruck against a particularly aggravating opponent. He thrived on the contest unhindered by technical umpiring interpretations which contradict a man who likes to “sail close to the wind”.
Kim Pearce, who may just be getting better with age, had a field day. He kicked five goals including a classic, where he caught an opponent in the goal square “red handed” with the ball. The resultant smother enabled him to stroll in for an easy goal.
This match saw the return of the Paul “Fluff’ Woods after a lengthy stay at the bequest of the authorities in Singapore. Fresh from his arrival on the “red eye” special, Fluff did what he does best; played wherever he wanted, oblivious to the constraints of traditional football positioning.
The vanquished opposition joined in the theme of the weekend by awarding bottles of red wine to the best players from both sides.
Even the trip home was eventful with Chris Hill wishing for “red light” in Blanchetown. Chris is generally a man who can’t be hurried. Always the last man out of the shower and generally the last one to leave the post match analysis at the bar, Chris found his anxiety levels on the rise in the sleepy river town. Taking his own sweet time to avail himself of more libations from the back of the “Urvan”, Chris shut the hatch but then dawdled around the side only to see Michael Toubia drive off into the sunset without him. An anxious few minutes passed before the car returned with an apologetic driver querying what Chris did in the minute between shutting the boot and not getting into the people mover.
All match reports indicate that the Hills’ boys were “red hot” and in a reasonably physical game, simply overwhelmed their competitive rivals.
Pleasingly there appears no indication of a move to unseat the current leader of the team, coach Dave Piro, who has two strong points in his favour. The first is that he enjoys total support of the people and his colleagues. His popularity rating, and approval rating as preferred coach, has never been higher. The second is that no one else wants the job.
Three week break obviously did not impede the Supertigers who now front the redoubtable Pooraka at Mallala this Sunday.
HILLS 18 – 9 RIVERLAND 8 – 9
Best: Kleemann, Kemp, Weeks, Pearce, Bojanic, Jaensch, Molloy
Goals: Pearce 5, Wylie, Magee, Kleemann 3, Weeks, Reichelt, Seymour, Toubia 1
