DANCI NG WITH TIGERS
The Hills’ Supertigers ran into massive injury trouble on the weekend as many of the players performed their own interpretations of popular dance moves. Despite this they were still able to nail their 27th straight victory against Pooraka at Mallala.
Struggling with their second road trip in seven days the Hills’ boys were missing 11 first pick players including the club champions from the past two years. Kleemann, Kemp, Geraghty, Watt, Damo, Tommy, Weekes, Threadgold, Frohling, McGregor, Thomson were all missing forcing the Superigers to face the populus Pooraka with just 15 players.
It brought back memories of the match at Mt Lofty in 1998 when only 13 black and gold warriors beat 24 Pooraka Pies by ten goals.
Again Pooraka arrived with 24 and did all the attacking for the first five minutes. During this time Gary “Twinkle Toes Flinstone” Magee did his shoulder in a marking contest and Dale “Dancing Queen” Wylie tore his groin muscle. Gary’s injury came after a tangle of arms in a chest to chest “barge fest” turned into a slow and very deliberate “Tango”. It ended when Gary was spun away from his partner and collapsed in pain.
Dale’s injury was quite spectacular as Chris Hill attempted to hand ball to Dale, alone in the goal square. Unfortunately, Chris rarely performs this feat and so the pass was quite high and wide of the mark.
To gain the maximum result, Dale had to extend his leg up near his ear to clip the ball on its way through the goals and register the team’s first major. The “Can Can” performance was spectacularly executed with boot contacting ball just before the goal line. Tragically, the routine was as difficult as it looked and unthinkable damage was inflicted on the groin area. Close to tears due to the pain, Dale did manage to share with his team mates, as they slapped him on the back, that he regularly performs this type of manoeuvre in the bedroom. He and Gary then shared ice packs for the rest of the match.
The most frustrating of injuries, which saw the Hills’ team reduced to just 12 players, was that of Gavin Reichelt’s. Plagued by lower leg injuries, Gavin set off after his opponent as the ball ran wide towards the boundary line. Interestingly Gavin runs with a slightly unnatural gait, reminiscent of someone performing “The Grapevine”. His legs cross, his body sways sideways and his waving arms are completely out of time with the rest of his body.
The collective mental cry of the team was “Just let him go Gavin, it’s not worth it”. Completely lacking in telepathic powers, Gavin allowed his naturally competitive nature to overrun his common sense. He chased player and ball towards the boundary, continuously crossing his legs as he did so. Invariably as the ball ran over the line so, with a great sense of purpose, did Gavin. Within 30 seconds he had assumed his position on the bench with ice pressed hard against his injured hamstring. The “train wreck” was an unavoidable spectacle which the whole team witnessed; an outcome everybody predicted; and a running action nobody could explain.
Youngster Michael “Nureyev” Hill, one of the few players in the team to be able to generate space between his feet and the ground, pirouetted beautifully a couple of times, only to miss the ball and crash heavily to the turf. Ballet may not be his calling.
In what can only be labelled a badly choreographed series of routines, the Hill’s players continued to improvise their own special dance moves.
Dave “Chubby Checker” McGill regularly performs his own version of “Twist and Shout” in the packs and Aleks “Indian Chief” Bojanic appears to be delivering the hand movements to the Village People’s “YMCA” when rucking.
Country boy Mark “Slim Dusty” Jaensch has apparently spent a lot of time “Line Dancing”, which is tragically evident in his running approach to kicking at goals.
David “Gene Kelly” Wuttke is always worth watching for his “Tap Dance Routine”. Once “Gene” is in possession of the ball the feet move very swiftly but generally he manages to stay in about the same spot. Mesmerised by his footwork, opponents often allow him time and space he doesn’t deserve.
Balding but “buff” Scott Molloy is very resolute defender but his sense of balance is sometimes questionable. To see the big man contesting the footy can revive images of former Midnight Oil front man Peter Garrett gyrating on stage.
Kim “Fred Astaire” Pearce knows only one move, the “Rumba Side Step”, which he repeats continually to the right, and the very determined Michael “Latino” Toubia can often be seen performing his interpretation of the Zumba. It is fast and energetic, but he certainly moves to his own special beat.
Winning with just 12 players then begs the question, “How many players can the Hills’ team be without and yet still win?”
Geelong have now won a mere 21 straight games at Skilled Stadium but take even 6 key players out of their line up and see how they perform. Remove Ablett, Bartel, Scarlett, Chapman, Hawkins, and Ling and one would expect their choreographed corridor moves to unravel.
The Hills team cannot dance too much as they will soon be face to face and toe to toe with an East’s team which likes to get up close and personal at the very small Foxfield arena in two weeks time.
HILLS 13 – 9 POORAKA 4 – 4
Best: Jaensch, McGill, Toubia, Wuttke, Pearce, Ryde, M.Hill
Goals: Magee, McGill, Pearce 2, Jaensch, Ryde, Toubia, Wall, Wood, Wylie 1
