The Ross Wall File - Round 1 v Portland

POWER OUT FOR TIGERS

The opening game of the Superules season looked in danger of being a fizzer as grave doubt remained over the availability of a number of key players.

Coach Dave Piro was last seen queuing for Port Power tickets but no one had told him they weren’t playing at Adelaide Oval. Newcomer Dale Schmidt, a fully fledged Greater Western Sydney supporter, was rumoured to be at the airport. He thought he had signed up to fly with Tiger, rather than play for the Tigers. Darren Watkins, who averages one game every three years was expected to play sometime before 2014. Dave “Runt” Wuttke was rumoured to have quit the club over a Dave Piro witticism. In 2011 he was quoted as saying, “Runt’s playing form is hot but his kicking is barely room temperature”. Aleks Bojanic had lingered too long in the solarium and realised no self respecting team can have an orange ruckman. Mark Jaensch was a definite non starter as recent plastic surgery had left him looking a little too much like Delta Goodrem. Nevertheless, eighteen players did front on Sunday to take on Portland, and a tight, occasionally feisty game ensued.

Surprisingly for a team that never trains, the Supertigers displayed solid kicking skills in field play and looked up and about. Kim Pearce’s passing was accurate and Dom Ryde was running well out of defence, sometimes even with the ball. Key onballers Dick Kleemann, Matty Mayes and Wayne “Chucky” Seymour were locked in a “full on battle” with a fit, running Portland Power cohort. Aleks “Valencia” Bojanic was winning most of the ruck contests and marking strongly around the ground.

“New kids on the block” Dale Schmidt and Andrew Day, not surprisingly, found themselves in defence. Both attacked the ball well, marked strongly and provided excellent rebound; playing like natural defenders. It can take years for new players to earn a forward birth but these guys could be in the backlines for life.

The aspect of the game that let the Supertigers down was their goal kicking. By half time the Power had kicked 7 – 1 to 2 – 6. Stalwart goal umpire, Graham “Friar” Tuck was heard to mutter, “They’d kick themselves but with their luck they would probably miss”.

Incapacitated onlooker Darren Watkins had promised the team what he couldn’t deliver. On a hot day he had promised the boys that the ice cream truck, which had been seen at the ground pre match, would reappear at half time. Sadly it never arrived.

Andrew 'Daisy' Day...was heard saying,
 'What was I thinking?'

Coach Piro to the rescue. His pre season coaching preparation had been spot on, and freed from the burden of rotating players off the bench, he was able to deliver, unencumbered, a classic Irish joke which threatened to lift the entire team. The full impact of this clever psychological ploy was slow to take but, like a ripple effect, it gradually permeated the very being of each player.

The third quarter was goal for goal which left the Supertigers still looking down the barrel at the final change.



Ross Wall takes a strong contested mark...but did he convert

 However, like the good team they think they are, the Hills’ boys hit back in the last quarter. Emulating a gentle, slow moving Tsunami they gradually swamped their opponent to hit the front with three minutes to play. Goals to Randall Weeks, Kleemann and a running goal to Lincoln Powell saw the Black and Gold warriors take a five point lead. Desperately clinging to this advantage the ball seesawed between half back lines until with seconds remaining a loose ball was pounced upon by a Power runner who snapped truly.

Post match it was feared that Rigor Mortis had set in as Day sat statue like with hands on knees for fifteen minutes in the change rooms. Fear of severe muscle spasm from any form of movement created a condition of total immobility. This rare ailment required significant skill and sensitive handling by his team mates to coerce him into the shower and home for three days of unrelenting discomfort. His ability to function with any degree of usefulness on the home front will no doubt determine his future availability.

Ross Wall floored by poor umpiring decisions

Heartbreak for the Supertigers will quickly be converted into action as they front Pooraka in the early game at Pooraka next Sunday.

PORTLAND 10 – 3 HILLS 9 – 8
Best: Kleemann, Weeks, Mayes, Seymour, Bojanic, Day, Wall
Goals: Kleemann, Weeks, Wylie 2, Hill, Powell 1