The Ross Wall File - Round 2 v Pooraka

MORE INEVITABLE THAN A BLACK CAVIAR VICTORY
John Farnham will make another “Farewell Tour”. Poker machines always win in the end.You will go wrinkly in the bathtub. Football club review nights will invariably have guys dressing up as girls. A yellow car will always be a “lemon”. “Whoops” is never good and Superules will survive due to the never ending occurrence of mid life crises in men.

Ron Berry at pace

All are certainties of life.

Death, taxes and the fact that Hills over 35s will flog Pooraka every time they play are three others.

Chucky Seymour strikes a pose

Not in living memory has a Pooraka team got close to the Hills’ cohort.

1996 was their big chance when 28 Magpies made the trek to Mt Lofty to take on 13 Supertigers. They did get within 10 goals on that occasion. 

'Pretty Boy' Kleemann



Sunday’s game at Pooraka was again highly predictable.

Pooraka, the team that train twice a week, were outclassed by the gaggle of specimens who join up once a fortnight for matches.



Weeks pumping up the guns!!



Good teams are predictable and on any Superule’s Sunday you will see Kleemann pass to Weeks, then goal; or vice versa. This became very apparent during the Pooraka match, so much so, that Matty Mayes decided to “break the chain”. Running to “their spots”, Mayes was able to get on the end of a string of passes to finish accurately and break the pattern. He did this on three separate occasions, each time with an ever increasing level of satisfaction.

Debutante Alex Antic



Another delightful inevitability about this Hills’ team is that new players, invited out by incumbents, are more than capable. In need of a lawyer for team balance, the club trawled Duncan, Basheer, Hannon until running machine Alex Antic agreed to try his hand. Not only did he play well but discovered what he thought was a fertile field of potential claimants, as many looked like workplace accident victims. Unfortunately for Alex, in most cases, “It’s the way I’ve always walked” was the response.

It is a long time since Onkas supplied the Hills’ Superules team with a “real footballer” but debutant Michael “Hammer” Hamilton looked the goods at full forward. Not since Ron Hanson, in the days of boots with wooden sprigs, has an Onka’s player made such a debut. “Hammer” kicked a lazy seven and straightened up the boundary obsessed Tigers.


Could Lyons be the next Tiger's pest??

Ben Lyons also debuted and his playing style bore an uncanny resemblance to Fremantle serial pest Hayden Ballantyne. It’s always good to have another “in and under” type to dish out easy balls to the plethora of wide runners in the team.



Hamlton marks strongly



The inclusion of three “newbies” caused coach Dave Piro some angst with a player on the bench he had to rotate into the game. Fortunately Andrew Day “copped” an injury and this enabled the coach to concentrate on what can best be described as an average half time joke.



One other reassuring piece of predictability is that if a Superules game is scheduled, Chris Hill will be there. His continuous playing record must, by now, be the over 35s equivalent of Jim Styne’s VFL/AFL record.

Like the Crows, winning form can be deceptive, depending on whom you have played.

The next match is an absolute danger game in terms of location and opponent.

Enticing players to Reynella to play is difficult at the best of times; many equating it with a trip to Siberia. This Sunday’s opponent, Blackwood, represents a local Hill’s derby to rival a Crows, Port showdown. Invariably Blackwood field their best team and a spirited encounter can be expected.

Equally important is the “progressive dinner” to be held the week after, and similar problems with player commitment is to be expected. This event is being held despite sage advice to the contrary. The result of the previous dinner, six years ago, was a nude, player calendar which circulated a little too freely throughout the Hills for most peoples’ liking.

HILLS 2 supergoals 21 – 12 (162) POORAKA 4 – 5 (29)
Best: Kleemann, Weeks, Seymour, Mayes, Hamilton, Day, Powell
Goals: Hamilton 7, Kleemann 5, Mayes 3, Powell, Weeks 2, Jaensch*, Pearce*, Seymour, Wall 1
* Supergoal

It goes something like that...where's that bloody ball

The Lincoln Powell School of Kicking



The Ross Wall File - Round 1 v Portland

POWER OUT FOR TIGERS

The opening game of the Superules season looked in danger of being a fizzer as grave doubt remained over the availability of a number of key players.

Coach Dave Piro was last seen queuing for Port Power tickets but no one had told him they weren’t playing at Adelaide Oval. Newcomer Dale Schmidt, a fully fledged Greater Western Sydney supporter, was rumoured to be at the airport. He thought he had signed up to fly with Tiger, rather than play for the Tigers. Darren Watkins, who averages one game every three years was expected to play sometime before 2014. Dave “Runt” Wuttke was rumoured to have quit the club over a Dave Piro witticism. In 2011 he was quoted as saying, “Runt’s playing form is hot but his kicking is barely room temperature”. Aleks Bojanic had lingered too long in the solarium and realised no self respecting team can have an orange ruckman. Mark Jaensch was a definite non starter as recent plastic surgery had left him looking a little too much like Delta Goodrem. Nevertheless, eighteen players did front on Sunday to take on Portland, and a tight, occasionally feisty game ensued.

Surprisingly for a team that never trains, the Supertigers displayed solid kicking skills in field play and looked up and about. Kim Pearce’s passing was accurate and Dom Ryde was running well out of defence, sometimes even with the ball. Key onballers Dick Kleemann, Matty Mayes and Wayne “Chucky” Seymour were locked in a “full on battle” with a fit, running Portland Power cohort. Aleks “Valencia” Bojanic was winning most of the ruck contests and marking strongly around the ground.

“New kids on the block” Dale Schmidt and Andrew Day, not surprisingly, found themselves in defence. Both attacked the ball well, marked strongly and provided excellent rebound; playing like natural defenders. It can take years for new players to earn a forward birth but these guys could be in the backlines for life.

The aspect of the game that let the Supertigers down was their goal kicking. By half time the Power had kicked 7 – 1 to 2 – 6. Stalwart goal umpire, Graham “Friar” Tuck was heard to mutter, “They’d kick themselves but with their luck they would probably miss”.

Incapacitated onlooker Darren Watkins had promised the team what he couldn’t deliver. On a hot day he had promised the boys that the ice cream truck, which had been seen at the ground pre match, would reappear at half time. Sadly it never arrived.

Andrew 'Daisy' Day...was heard saying,
 'What was I thinking?'

Coach Piro to the rescue. His pre season coaching preparation had been spot on, and freed from the burden of rotating players off the bench, he was able to deliver, unencumbered, a classic Irish joke which threatened to lift the entire team. The full impact of this clever psychological ploy was slow to take but, like a ripple effect, it gradually permeated the very being of each player.

The third quarter was goal for goal which left the Supertigers still looking down the barrel at the final change.



Ross Wall takes a strong contested mark...but did he convert

 However, like the good team they think they are, the Hills’ boys hit back in the last quarter. Emulating a gentle, slow moving Tsunami they gradually swamped their opponent to hit the front with three minutes to play. Goals to Randall Weeks, Kleemann and a running goal to Lincoln Powell saw the Black and Gold warriors take a five point lead. Desperately clinging to this advantage the ball seesawed between half back lines until with seconds remaining a loose ball was pounced upon by a Power runner who snapped truly.

Post match it was feared that Rigor Mortis had set in as Day sat statue like with hands on knees for fifteen minutes in the change rooms. Fear of severe muscle spasm from any form of movement created a condition of total immobility. This rare ailment required significant skill and sensitive handling by his team mates to coerce him into the shower and home for three days of unrelenting discomfort. His ability to function with any degree of usefulness on the home front will no doubt determine his future availability.

Ross Wall floored by poor umpiring decisions

Heartbreak for the Supertigers will quickly be converted into action as they front Pooraka in the early game at Pooraka next Sunday.

PORTLAND 10 – 3 HILLS 9 – 8
Best: Kleemann, Weeks, Mayes, Seymour, Bojanic, Day, Wall
Goals: Kleemann, Weeks, Wylie 2, Hill, Powell 1

Season 2012 Just Around The Corner

Supertigers Fixture 2012

15-4 PORTLAND Elizabeth 2.30pm
22-4 POORAKA Pooraka 12.30pm

6-5 BLACKWOOD Reynella 2.30pm

20-5 GAWLER Lobethal 12.30pm

3-6 RIVER MURRAY Murray Bridge 1pm

17-6 PHANTOMS East TBC

1-7 ROSEWATER Lobethal 12.30pm

15-7 RIVERLAND Berri 1pm

29-7 WEST Adelaide Uni TBC

12-8 FITZROY East 2.30pm

26-8 BYE

9-9 MID NORTH Lobethal 1pm